Monday, April 28, 2008

Going forward...

We went to Muncie today and got fingerprinted for the adoption process. We'd never used the electronic device before for fingerprinting. My poor hubby's hands sweat terribly, so it took about 15 minutes to get his fingerprints! lol He wiped his hands, fanned his hands, ran them under cold water, used alcohol wipes, held ice cubes, etc. hahahaha He was SO stressed! It was funny though.
The social worker emailed today and said she would send off our criminal background checks tomorrow to the FBI, Child Protective Services, etc.
Things are moving right along...

From Tamara

In 7th Heaven
On cloud 9
Never Happier

ADOPTION- another word for LOVE!

No & Yes

Well, the birth father isn't going to sign the papers. He said no way would he put his name on any paper and blah blah blah. I can't even write here but all he actually did say! lol

So, no sweat. We'll have to watch a DNA registry for 30 days after the birth to see if he's decided to come forward. After the 30 days, if he hasn't come forward, he'll automatically lose his rights to the baby.

Birth mom wants to sign the papers right away because she feels bad that the dad won't sign and she doesn't want us to worry about her not signing too.

Amy said Meranda is ready to do it...she's ready to go through with what she's made her mind up to do.

Amy was babysitting little kids this weekend and Meranda stayed with her. Meranda said she truly knows she is not ready for a baby and might not ever be. I remember saying that at age 14 when my sister had her babies and I lived with her. I was way...unh-uh!! lol

So, as for the paperwork, it's a no for the dad and a yes for the mom! =)

What does it mean to be adopted?

Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family.

One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted.

A little girl said, "I know all about adoption. I was adopted."

"What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child

"It means", said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!"

Friday, April 25, 2008


We had our home study this morning! YAY!! What a relief to have gotten that started! We also have an appointment Monday morning to get fingerprinted.
We took the birth mom to our family DR yesterday. He had received her medical records, so that was a blessing! We go back to see him next Thursday.
He said according to the last sonogram she'd had done, she's due June 26. She did tell him she has cramping in her belly when she walks. Hmmm...will she wait until June 26?? =)

Monday, April 21, 2008

Word from our Attorney

I emailed our attorney and let her know the troubles we were having (see previous post) and she responded:

Unfortunately, I have heard others with much the same story. I will give this some consideration and see if I can't come up with some better options for you. I am not sure why Rhandi wouldn't show up just because of a "fee" issue. She could easily give/get paperwork from you and defer to Terry on that one, saying she will let you know and having you pay later. Hmmm. Well, let me think on it!

Second email:
I expect to hear back from another local agency as to whether they can do private home studies soon. If this agency says they can do it, you will have quick and professional service, I'm almost positive. I will let you know. I am sorry that SAFY is stressing you out. You don't need any extra stress right now.

So, we're anxious to hear back from her! Never got a return call today from SAFY. No Surprise there. =(

Then, we met with our friend Amy today in Muncie. We took her the papers that she needs to have the birth father sign. She doesn't know when that is going to happen yet, but she talked to the birth father last night and he said he needs to do it (sign them and go to the notary) when his girlfriend isn't around. He is going to check her schedule for this week.

The indigent clinic where our birth mom has been going isn't releasing her medical records, in spite of the release form we took there last week. The DR there is not always nice. As a pharmacist, my hubby has served this clinic in many ways in the past and it looks like he is going to have to pull some weight there to get things done. They do not know that Fred is the adoptive father! So, it'll be interesting, I'm sure.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Home Study

Well, it has been a very stressful week, to say the least.

While still dealing with my hubby's health situation, I've worked very hard all week in preparation for our scheduled home study this morning at 10 AM. I've cleaned carpets, moved furniture out to clean behind name it, I've done it this week. We've never done a home study and had no expectations...would they look in every nook and cranny? Just ask us questions?

Anyway, I was anxious last night and only slept from
4 AM until 8 AM. When I don't get enough rest, I am so not good! lol

We got up, vacuumed the whole house once again and I baked a yummy breakfast type cake. We made coffee, tea, etc. Ready to go!

The lady, Randy, who is doing the study is the same lady that hasn't returned any of my phone calls. I'm still "waiting" to hear back from her on a question I asked her about on April 3.

So, we were anxious about her coming because we haven't been having any luck with her via the phone.

10:00 came. 10:00 went.

About 10:10, I ended up getting terrible stomach cramps and spending time in the bathroom twice. 10:20 comes and goes. Fred said I couldn't call the office until 10:30.

The social worker never came. She never called.

At 10:30, I called and talked to Terry, the very nice lady that is helping us set up things with Randy. Terry had to be pulled out of a staff meeting to talk to me. When I told her what was happening, she checked her email while I was on the phone. She saw that Randy had emailed her at 9:30 AM (30 mintues before our meeting) and said she didn't know how much to charge for the home study and she'd feel more comfortable if we rescheduled!

Well, I started crying and couldn't stop. I asked why Randy didn't bother to call. That'd I'd only slept 4 hours last night due to anxiety and that meant I'd have to do it all over again next week if they weren't coming today. I told her I'd made food for Randy. I just couldn't quit crying. Terry kept apologizing.
I guess it'd be different if this was an isolated thing, but due to the fact that we haven't gotten any results with Randy on anything...
Terry rescheduled Randy for Monday.

We decided we needed to get out for the day. We were on our way to Indy, made it half way, ate and came back home. We were just exhausted physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.

We took a nap. Later I had a voice mail from Terry saying that Randy said she still won't know the cost of the home study by Monday, so they need to reschedule it for Thursday. Well, guess what? Fred gets to go back to work Thursday. So, I have no idea what we are going to do. We are pretty discouraged. We know it will work out somehow, but in this moment, we're discouraged.

There is no one else in Muncie to do a home study that we know of, except the county. There's no one period in New Castle. We can have someone in Anderson do it, but it costs about 4 X what it will cost us in Muncie.

I called Terry and left her a voice mail and asked why they had to know how much it's going to cost before they'll get started. I said they know where we live, they know we have to have the home study to get the baby, so surely that means we're good for the money! Fred says it probably has to be in the contract we'd sign up front.
I guess this place we're using doesn't normally do private adoptions for couples. I can't remember if they do something with the state or just what it is but that is why they aren't sure how much to charge us. They said they didn't want to overcharge us. Fred says who cares! Just get started! I mean, surely they could refund an overpayment?

We were to meet our friend Amy today with the paperwork the birth father needs to sign, which was to happen tomorrow morning. She said not to come, that she was in the middle of something. Then, later she called and said we could meet her at the park but she didn't think she'd go to the birth fathers until Sunday. Well, that really won't work as the papers have to be signed at the Notary's and I can't imagine a Notary working on Sunday, unless it's a friend of Amy's.

Today feels like a setback. But, at least my house is clean! lol

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Yesterday, our friend Amy who is the "go-between" for our adoption contacted me and asked if I had the paperwork for the birth father to sign away his rights. She is going to take it to him to sign and then drive him to a notary. The other option he had was to go to our attorney's office, but he is to afraid to do so for fear of being arrested. My attorney assured me that she would not turn him in, for a variety of reasons.
Anyway, I emailed the attorney and asked about how to get the necessary paperwork. She said once we'd hired her, she'd get the papers ready. I thought we had hired her! She said we were supposed to sign the contract and mail half the adoption fee in, however, we'd never received the contract! She said she'd mailed it out to us herself on April 4. She'd been waiting to hear from us! We'd been waiting to hear from her! lol She emailed me the contract. So, tomorrow we are going to her office with the signed contract and the down payment. YAY!
Then, hopefully there won't be any trouble getting the father to sign away his rights. He doesn't want anything to do with the birth mother or the baby, but he's afraid to put his name on anything for fear of being arrested. Amy asked for special prayer as she goes to his house because he has a "mean girlfriend". We don't want any hinderances! I found out the birth father is about 6' 3" so we'll definitely have a tall daughter as the birth mom is about 5' 10"! I also found out the birth father has a couple of kids with two other women and that he does have a job.
We're having a time getting the clinic to release the birth mom's medical records to our family DR. They're being mean about it, so help me pray about that too.
Birth mom is out of the youth center and living back at home now. I hope she does OK.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Putting the crib together

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Good News!

Our Home Study begins April 18!! Two social workers will be coming here for a visit. I hope I don't keel over from the stress between now and then! lol
And, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat on Tuesday! It was a wonderful sound! She is also kicking a lot!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

A New Day

I woke up today determined to get ahold of someone to do a home study! I found a place in Anderson, IN and it's through the Church of God. They charge
$1375+. Yikes!
So, I called the Department of Child Welfare or something like that...again. I called them yesterday, left a message; no one called me back. Called today and actually talked to a person and not a machine. At first, she kind of gave me the run around. Once she heard my exasperation, we got somewhere. She told me to call SAFY again, the place I've been calling since last week and the woman wouldn't return my calls...and ask to talk to the supervisor Mary. She said, "Sometimes you just have to go to the top."
So, I called and asked for Mary. Mary was on another line. Terri came on the line and asked to help me. When I told her my story, she said that she was actually the person I needed to talk to (why didn't someone tell me that when I called Thursday or Friday or Monday or Tuesday???)SO, our home study starts next week! They will make their first visit at our home one day next week. Not sure what day yet. I'm a nervous wreck! I've been cleaning like a fury! LOL I'm going crazy from the stress. I mean, are they really going to look to see if the inside of my microwave is clean?? lol Well, if they do, it is! =P

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

One of those days

I'm feeling a myriad of emotions today.
I'm upset because the home study lady won't call me back. Last Thursday, when I talked to her, she said she'd get the info I needed and call me right back. Five days later, I still haven't heard from her. That doesn't qualify as right back to me! I've left 3 messages with her secretary and the poor secretary feels bad this lady isn't calling me back. So, I've spent the past hour online trying to find someone else to do the home study locally and I'm not having much luck. There's a place in Indy that will come...they will charge us $1800 + mileage!!! No thanks!!!!!
I think I feel so stressed about this because last Wednesday, our attorney said we had to get started on the home study right away, as in within 24 hours! And here it's been 5 days. Grrrr....
I cannot find a crib I like that is affordable and that's driving me nuts! lol
I went to the DR with the birth mom, MM this morning. This was her last visit to this clinic as she starts with our family DR on April 24. YAY!
They said she's 28 weeks along, but she measured a "30" so it's either a big baby or she is further along then they think. My gut feeling is baby is coming sooner than they think, which stresses me further because if we can't get the home study done, we can't bring baby home from the hospital!!
It's just one of those days. I think I need a nap. lol

I took a nap...a four hour nap (!) and felt much better when I got up! lol

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Saturday evening

I just talked to the birth mom's mom. I wanted to let her know I wanted to meet with her and give her all the info we got from our attorney, etc. So, we might meet next weekend.
She also told me that our birth mom will be leaving the Youth facility this coming Wednesday and returning home! Hopefully that will go OK for everyone involved.
I asked her if our birth mom (MM) was still OK with giving the baby up for adoption and she said that MM cries sometimes and that she told MM that she cries too, because no one could love the baby like her own family but that they just aren't in a place to keep the baby.
Also, I think I put in an earlier post that we asked our awesome family DR if he'd take care of our birth mom and he said yes. MM couldn't get in to see him until April 24, so they told her to go ahead and go to the free clinic place this week as scheduled. MM had been going there once a month and was seen by a different resident every time. But, starting April 24, she will be going to our family DR and he wants to see her every 2 weeks. I'm beyond excited about this!!! What a blessing! She will get top-rate care by our DR.
I'm still scared, scared, scared. lol What a journey and trial in faith!

Friday, April 04, 2008

Not sure...

I'm not sure if I'm going to make it until the adoption is finalized!
My stomach hurts, I've developed an irritating twitch in my right eye from the stress.
Sometimes I cry.
Sometimes I can't sleep.
Always I pray.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Baby's Name is...

Ryleigh Ema Jane Peterson

Ema is after my Grandmother's middle name of Emaline. My grandmother was one of the most positive influences of my young life and I want to honor her. She passed away in 1981, when I was 10.
Jane is Fred's late mother's name. Just as my Grandma influenced me in a wonderful, Godly way, the same can be said for Fred's mom, who passed away in 2001 at the young age of 53.


The nerves have set in!!!! I talked at length today with an attorney...our adoption attorney!!! She is awesome! A wonderful Christian lady who has 4 adopted children of her own!
We have to start on our home study immediately! I called a local place today but the gal I needed to talk with was gone for the day. Maybe I'll hear from her tomorrow? The thing we must get done right away is a criminal background check, fingerprinted and have 5 references letters from people that are non-related to us. So, we made out our list of people we are going to ask for reference letters and I'll get started on that right away.
Reality is starting to set in and we're very scared! lol
This process is going to cost us about $4000. I'm gonna have to have one big yard sale, huh?? lol
Here's my prayer list:
1. Pray that things go smoothly with the homestudy/social worker. The attorney said social workers have a tendency to be slow on paperwork, etc. and we have to have certain things done or we can't bring the baby home from the hospital, I don't think.
2. Pray that the birth mom doesn't change her mind. She'll have 12-24 hours after the birth to change her mind. She'll be visited by a social worker to make sure she is adopting her baby out on her own free will, etc. AMAZINGLY, the birth mom's mother does not legally have a right to make her under-age child give up the baby!
3. Pray that we can get the birth father to sign away his rights. It's going to take a miracle to get him to come forward. If he doesn't, we have to have blood work on the baby at birth. Then, we have to watch a State Registry to see if he's come forward to claim the child. We have to watch for 30 days. If he doesn't come forward in those 30 days, he'll lose his rights by implied consent. It would just be so much better if he'd just sign away his rights from the get-go.
4. Pray that the finances will fall into place!