Sonogram

I know these pix are tiny...I'll try to make them bigger. The first shows the baby's profile, the second show's her foot sticking up in the air! She weighed 10 oz. here on Jan. 29, 2008. =) Right in the center of the 2nd photo you can see her leg at a slant. The foot is on the right side of that slant.

I MUST have these!!! lol

Nervous

Well, I'm getting ready to go to the counseling appointment with the birth mom. I'm pretty nervous but I'm not sure why. I'm like, "Should I dress up? Should I dress casual?" lol which is silly because I know the birth mom will be in blue jeans and a sweat shirt. lol
I've found a baby name that I like. I'm trying it on for size, seeing if I reeeally like it. lol For now, it's a secret. Sorry, I just don't want any influences on it. I doubt anyone has ever heard this name. I just stumbled across it, which is how I wanted it to be...seeing a name and just loving it.
Don't know if anyone else will love it, but...

Today

Today is my 37th birthday. I cannot believe I'll be a first time mom at age 37. You know how we always map out our lives when we're younger? I always thought I was in control of my fertility and would "wait" to have a baby until I was in my mid-late 20's. Well, the joke was on me, huh?? lol
I just hope I can keep up with a toddler! ;-)

Phone Call

I got a call from the birth mom last night! She is doing great. It kind of scared me at first to get the call, as she's never called before. But, she said her counselor has asked if Fred and I would like to come to one of MM's sessions. So, I'm going this Friday. Fred has to work but hopefully he can go to one in the future. I'm a little nervous because I don't know what to expect...but I'll let everyone know how it goes!
She thanked me again for the Valentine's Day package I sent her and I told her that I later found out they weren't allowed to have packages so I was surprised she got it. She said that the staff knows her situation and that we are the adopting family and that we can send her whatever we want! I thought that was very kind of them! =)

Second Letter

We got another letter today from the birth mom. Bless her heart. She is still at the Youth Opportunity Center. I think she will be allowed to go home before the baby is due. She writes:

Dear Michelle,
Hello! I am feeling better and I'm glad because being sick like that kills me! (she had a bad cold, etc.) I'm sorry you're sick. I probably got you sick at the doctor's office. (She didn't! lol) Thank you so much for coming. It's good to know I have people that care and want this child the way you and your husband do. My next DR's appointment is March 6.
That's nice that your family is excited. I'm not really excited about giving my baby away but giving it to people like you and Fred is exciting because I know you guys are good people. You're welcome, I am more than glad to give her to you guys. I was kind of iffy about it at first because she's mixed and I didn't know you would want her still. Well, I hope you feel better! Thank you so much for the things on Valentine's Day. I loved it so much. My doggy is on my bed and my card is sitting up on my dresser at home because we're not allowed to have things on our dressers here. Well got to go. XOXO-Meranda and baby!

Baby Shower in a Box!

In the early 90's I went to Bible College and while there, met an awesome friend, Dana. We ended up being in each other's weddings. She lived in Kentucky but now lives in Florida. This week, she sent me a 14 POUND box of baby goodies!!!! OH my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was like a baby shower in a box!!!!! We got TONS of gorgeous clothes, blankets, shoes, hair things, you name it, it was in the box!!!! I didn't make it very long before I was crying! Here's a few pix. Sorry that they're kind of dark.

THANK YOU DANA & NATHANIEL!!!

Where to start!?!?

ADORABLE denim skirt!!

By now, I was crying!

What?? This hat isn't for me??

Sonogram

I've got a call into the birth mom to see if I can get copies of the sonogram pix. If/when I do, I'll post them here!

We're getting ready to start on all the legal stuff. Pray all goes smoothly!

Thanks!

The weekend

Over the weekend, we stopped at an Outlet mall in Edinburg, IN and I just happened upon a huge sale at The Children's Place. I'd never even been in that store! They had baby clothes for 99 cents!!!! Needless to say, I bought several things! Got lots of adorable stuff!

I also spent time with mom on Monday. We had lunch in Nashville, IN. She told me she has a baby name picked out...Sydney Nicole.

I don't think Fred and I get a say in it! lol

We got several of these little body suits in different solid colors for 99 cents each at The Children's Place.
Fred's dad is over the moon at the thought of being a Grandpa. My hubby is an only child and I think his dad never thought he'd get to be a Grandpa. He told us today that he knew what he'd get the baby... a "husher". We were like, huh? He said, "You know, one of those things you put in the baby's mouth and say Hush now, Grandpa needs a nap too!". LOL When we told him it's called a pacifier, he said, "Where I can get one of those at?" LOL

Love this spring bling in a shop in Brown County!

Letter

I got a letter from the birth mother (MM) yesterday. My first one. She wants me to know she likes me a lot and wondered if she could come to our church sometimes to see the baby. Bless her heart. While I can't tell her whether she can or can't go to church, it's not in her best interest, nor ours, for her to come. I was a little bit upset. I went to see Amy, the gal that is facilitating the adoption and she told me not to worry, that MM wouldn't show up anyway, even if it was OK with us. Amy told me that MM LOVES me and MM wondered if we could adopt her too, because of her home situation. I thought that was sweet, but sad too. I'm going to pray that she gets along better at home. The letter from MM is bittersweet. She has teenage- girl handwriting and the reality is...is that she is a freshman in high school who made a mistake. I also found out yesterday that MM's mom pushed her to get an abortion. The money was in hand and the appointment was made. I'm not sure if MM waited too long or what exactly happened, but I PRAISE GOD that innocent baby will have a chance at life! "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; Before you were born, I sanctified you;" Jeremiah 1:5 NKJV

Wonderful words from you...

So many of you have sent the sweetest emails. Thank you! What a blessing! =)

Oh, Michelle, this is such great, wonderful news!!! You can't imagine how happy I am to hear that you will be a mother after all. I know you will make the best mother, and the precious little gift lucky to call you Mother, will know how blessed and wanted she is. Where God closes a door He opens a window, isn't that ever so true? All the trials you went through last year wasn't all for nothing. Congratulations!!!! (Suzy Lee)

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WOW!!! I did not know any of this was going on!!! I am so Happy for you – I am almost crying right here in my office!!! You will definitely have to keep me posted and I can’t wait to tell mom and dad and especially grandma – she is always asking if I have heard from you. The Lord sure answers in mysterious ways and in his own time! What a great God we serve!! (Christa)

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I am beyond thrilled and excited at your news!! Your letter came just the other day and I have been meaning to e-mail you!! This just feels so right Michelle!! I agonized for you when you were having your surgeries and having to face the fact that you would not have a child. I just somehow have felt all along that God has a purpose for you. I KNOW without a single shred of doubt that you and Fred are going to be FANTASTIC parents and for God to provide you this opportunity just blows me away! What a mighty God we serve!! Please keep me posted and I will get a letter out to you soon. I love you and am praying this through with you and sharing in your joy every step of the way!! (Regina)

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Oh Michelle, I am so very happy for you and Fred! I am just beyond words....God is so good! I will keep you in my prayers as always! Your story is a true inspiration to me as I'm not sure I'll ever to have children after all the chemo. It was my dream as a child to have 6! :) Your news is just making me feel so at peace and calm as I know God works in miraculous ways. (Alison)

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HI MICHELLE**
GOT YOUR LETTER YESTERDAY ABOUT THE SUPER NEWS!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! THE BIRTH MOMMY IS SO CUTE!! MICHELLE, I THINK SHE FAVORS YOU !!! GOD IS SO GOOD. SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO BE VERY QUIET AND LISTEN TO OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. ALL IS IN HIS TIME** I AM REALLY, REALLY EXCITED FOR YOU TWO!!! (Anna)

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OMG!!! You know I am flipping out. I'm so excited. It's amazing how much the girl and your sister looked alike. I'm all excited now and I will continue to pray that her pregnancy goes smoothly as does the adoption. I'm on top of the world and praising God for this miracle. Keep me posted!!!! (Kim W.)

Today

Today has been one of those emotionally up & down days.
I had searched onlined a couple days ago and made a list of nearby consignment/thrift type shops. I LOVE those! I can almost always find a treasure or two. My goal was to look for baby things. So, my traveling buddy, Snoopy and I hit the road to Richmond, IN in search of some finds today.

I had a great time! Bought a couple baby clothing items, found some books I'd wanted, etc. Then I went to Hobby Lobby and was looking at the scrapbooking stuff. Lots of baby stuff.

I couldn't bring myself to buy any of it and I was just very emotional, worrying that this miracle won't happen for us.

Yes, I'm trusting God, but I'm human and I've had over 14 years of heartache in the baby department, so it's a defense mechanisim, I guess. I'm so afraid of being hurt again.
On the way home, I began to cry and pray and an old hymn came to mind and I couldn't help but sing it:

All to Jesus I surrender;
all to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
in his presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

2. All to Jesus I surrender;
humbly at his feet I bow,
worldly pleasures all forsaken;
take me, Jesus, take me now.

I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

3. All to Jesus I surrender;
make me, Savior, wholly thine;
fill me with thy love and power;
truly know that thou art mine.

I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.


4. All to Jesus I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to thee;
fill me with thy love and power;
let thy blessing fall on me.

I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.


5. All to Jesus I surrender;
now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to his name!

I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

Baby clothes I love!

This one is made with vintage hankies!

Surprise Box

I put together a surprise box for the birth mother, MM for Valentine's Day. I got her a red and white super soft and cuddly stuffed puppy with a huge heart on his back, a heart shaped container of Skittles and some Hello Kitty stuff. I hope she likes the things I chose.
I put it in our mailbox today, but we ended up not having any mail delivery today, thanks to snow and lots of sleet/ice. Bummer!

Names

I asked several friends for their favorite baby names and they came through! Be sure to check out the list to the right! If you have any unique, awesome baby names, send me an email!

Can you see the resemblance??

The birth mom is on the left, photo taken a couple weeks ago. The photo on the right is my sister, taken in the 1980's!

Welcome to My Daisy Belle!

Welcome, friends...old and new! I've started this new blog to journal our journey through adoption!
I'll still keep my other blog~ http://petersoncreekprimitives.blogspot.com/
but this blog will be all about our adoption process!
Some background~
My hubby & I got married on July 3, 1993. We didn't start trying to have a family right away, but by August, I knew something wasn't right. Over the next several months, I stopped having periods for the most part, but never had a positive pregnancy test through it all! I started gaining weight quickly, was very hormonal, etc. The first DR I went to told me that because I'd had chicken pox twice as a child, I was in perimenopause. I was 23. He said if I was ever going to have children, I needed to "hurry up" because menopause was setting in. Otherwise, he couldn't offer me any help except herbs.
I sought medical treatment for constant weight gain, acne, missing periods, no pregnancies, etc. for 8 LONG YEARS.
Finally, in 2001, my husband, who is a pharmacist, introduced me to a co-worker of his, Dr. Steve Rousseau. Dr. Rousseau asked if we had children and when I told him no, that I was having lots of 'female' issues, he asked my symptoms and just by looking at me, standing in a hallway, he said, "I believe you have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.". He said he could tell by the way I carried my weight around my hips and belly. I didn't have a DR and he instantly became our family DR! =) He sent me right away to Humana Woman's Hospital in Indianapolis. I walked into a small room to meet the DR and she said instantly, "Has anyone ever told you that you have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)?". She explained that not much was known about PCOS through the years and older DR's especially most always misdiagnosed the disease.
Sadly, this DR in Indpls. wasn't focused on helping me get well. She was focused on getting me pregnant. Instantly, she started me on fertility drugs. I also had to drive to Indy every other day for blood work to test my hormone levels. When the time was right, according to the blood work, I got shots in my hips to boost my chances of conceiving. Well, let me tell you, after being so sick for at least 8 years and the fertility hormones on top of it all, the drugs made me crazy!!!!! I cried all the time, my ovaries were overstimulated and I felt horrible. I finally went back to my family DR, Dr. Rousseau and told him I didn't want to go to Indy anymore, that I was so sick at that point I didn't care if I ever had kids. He sent me to a specialist here locally. This specialist asked about specific blood work that I should have had in Indy, but didn't, and he was furious. I explained that the DR in Indy wasn't focused on getting me well and that was why I'd left. He had blood work done and it showed that by then, I had enough insulin in my body for 5 ADULTS! He said if I hadn't found this out, within 10 years I would have been blind or dead from a heart attack.
What causes polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?
The cause of PCOS is unknown. Most researchers think that more than one factor could play a role in developing PCOS. Genes are thought to be one factor. Women with PCOS tend to have a mother or sister with PCOS. Researchers also think insulin could be linked to PCOS. Insulin is a hormone that controls the change of sugar, starches, and other food into energy for the body to use or store. For many women with PCOS, their bodies have problems using insulin so that too much insulin is in the body. Excess insulin appears to increase production of androgen. This hormone is made in fat cells, the ovaries, and the adrenal gland. Levels of androgen that are higher than normal can lead to acne, excessive hair growth, weight gain, and problems with ovulation. -Taken from http://www.4women.gov/faq/pcos.htm#e

He immediately put me on Metformin (Glucophage), which diabetics take. So far, I'm not diabetic, but this medicine keeps my insulin in check. I'm the opposite of a diabetic-I have way too much insulin.
So, I went to this specialist annually for 3 or 4 years. I tried all types of fertility treatment except in vitro, which this DR pushed me to try. I finally decided not to go to him anymore and now my family DR takes care of my PCOS.
As those of you who know me already know that 2007 was a terrible year for me health-wise. I started bleeding in April and then hemhorrhaged for 57 days. I landed in the ER one time and was told my bleeding was hormonal, due to the PCOS. Dr. Rousseau did biopsies, etc. but nothing showed up and nothing helped. I went to a different specialist here locally who is just FANTASTIC!! It was decided that I needed surgery..and lots of it. We stopped short of a hysterectomy, because that wasn't really needed, thankfully. Surgery was August 17, 2007. To take care of the bleeding, he burnt out my uterine lining in a procedure called Uterine Ablation. Then, because any pregnancy that might occur after an ablation would be fatal to the woman, we decided not to take any chances and he tied my tubes. He did a D & C. He drilled 50 holes in my ovaries to relieve the pressure. PCOS has caused 100's of tiny cysts on my ovaries and the drilling deflated them. The surgery was outpatient and truly was a breeze!
Post-op, I no longer have periods!! YAY!!! That is surely the best part!
Of course, deciding to do the surgery took lots of thinking and praying before the decision was made. I mean, doing the surgery finally put my dreams to death of carrying a baby. I grieved post-op, but knew I had to do the ablation due to all the hemorrhaging.
Little did I know that a young girl would conceive a baby on August 27, 2007, just 10 days after my surgery-a young girl that I'd never met before.
On January 20, 2008 I could not sleep. Due to some outside stress, I hadn't slept through a night in weeks. This night was no different. I walked the floor, crying. I cleaned the kitchen. At 6 AM on the following morning, I found myself crying so hard and not really knowing why. I fell to my knees on the dining room floor, crying and praying to God. I felt a peace settle over me and I went to bed about 6:15 AM.
At 11:30 AM, the phone rang. It was a sweet little lady that is one of our dearest friends. Her name is Patti and she is 78. She said that her niece Amy had called her and asked her if she knew anyone that would adopt a newborn baby. Patti said she immediately mentioned some other folks' names, but told Amy she'd get back with her. Patti said she sat down in her rocker and began to pray. She prayed and cried for an hour. She told me that the Lord had told her not to call the other folks, but to call us. WOW!
Over the next few days, we found out that the birth mom is a 14 year old girl. She is very tall and led her boyfriend to believe she was 19. He is in his 20's. Of course, when she turns up pregnant AND tells him she is only 14, he wants no part. The girl's mom refuses to raise the baby or allow her child to keep the baby.
Lots to think about! A few days later, we had an opportunity to meet the birth mom, but didn't.
A week later, however, the girl asked again to meet us.
My husband, due to some extreme outside stress, has been slow to get excited about a baby. I think that because of all he was under, a baby adoption just seemed like one more huge thing that he couldn't think about right then.
So, I went to meet the girl myself. I was SO scared! And, very insecure!
I have it in my mind that because I'm overweight, others will judge me by that and not like me. I expected her to say, "I'm sorry! You're too fat to raise my baby!". It might sound funny to some, harsh to others, but it's very real to me.
When I got to Amy's house, the girl was there, as was her mom. We hit it off immediately! The girl, who I'll call MM, is very shy. She had made a scrapbook of the sonogram photos. She showed me the first one, where the baby was the size of a lima bean! The most recent photos show the baby is a GIRL and weighs 10 ounces. Another photo showed the baby's hands clasped together, as if in prayer!
MM's mom was overwhelmed, in a good way, to know that we attended the same denomination of church as her grandparents, who are major influences in her life. She feels as if God is just working everything out for the best for all involved!
When she'd told her grandpa that his great-grand daughter was pregnant and they were giving up the baby for adoption, he was very sad. After she'd met me and told him that we were Christians and very active ones in our church, etc. he said he felt much more at peace and knew that God had a plan in all this. He is thrilled that we are the ones adopting this baby!
On February 7, I went to the DR with MM. She was about 20 weeks along. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time!! It was so AWESOME!
So, this is the beginning of our adoption journey! The baby is due June 27. I pray all goes smoothly for all involved! I look forward to sharing the journey here with you!
Oh, about the title of My Daisy Belle. My great-grandmother was Daisy Belle Crockett. She was a spitfire who chewed " 'baccy"! She lived to be in her 90's and she passed away around 1979 or 1980. I've always loved her name and wondered if I'd ever be brave enough to name a girl Daisy! lol
Daisy Belle isn't the name we've chosen for the baby, according to my hubby! lol but I can at least name my baby blog that in Grandma's honor, huh!? =)