Up's & Down's of Adoption

It's amazing how one sentence from someone can

devastate or encourage you.

I was devastated yesterday. I talked to our birth mom's mom and she said that the closer the arrival of the baby comes, the harder she is finding it to let the baby go. I must also add that she then said, "But I know that in the long run, it's best". All I really heard was the first part and it brewed in my mind until it boiled over. I cried all afternoon yesterday, just "knowing" that this grandmother-to-be is changing her mind. I sat here at my desk with tears poouring down my face, saying Please God Please God over and over.

I emailed our attorney, who has adopted 4 children and has also experienced failed adoptions. Here's our conversations:

I feel really overwhelmed today. When I talked to Kim, Meranda's mom, last night, she said she might see if Pat can counsel her too because the closer the baby's arrival comes, the harder it is, but that she knows in the long run, "it's for the best". Does that mean she is rethinking giving the baby up?

We have no experience with this at all and it's very scary.


Not necessarily. Giving up a baby for adoption IS very hard on birth mothers and grandmothers alike. It is good that they are being honest about their feelings, actually. I would not be alarmed. Cautiously guarded perhaps. As much as you can guard your heart, try to do so, because it is never a sure thing until the consent is signed (irrevocable once signed), and then hopefully affirmed in Court (we will arrange to do this by telephone for Meranda's convenience - it totally closes off the window of a birth mom seeking any action for any reason related to the adoption in Court). However, her telling you this doesn't seem like a red flag to me. I hope this helps.

Rebecca S. Bruce
Attorney at Law


I then told her I was trying to hang in there and was also very overwhelmed with how sick Fred's dad is, etc.

I understand the emotions you are feeling right now! It is very hard right now. Reality is dawning on all fronts and it's just hard. You want to be so happy but you know there's a chance things could go awry. Hang in there. It's okay to guardedly cautious AND optimistic. If it works out how it seems it will, the hard feelings you are having right now, you'll hardly remember them. (:

Rebecca S. Bruce
Attorney at Law

We are trying to hang in there. One day at a time.