Big Day

Well, unless we get a call in the middle of the night, we'll be heading to the hospital in the morning...we'll leave about 6 AM.

Meranda is very, very scared.

Amy is very, very scared.

We are very, very scared.

LOL

We are scared, but also very, very excited and anxious and nervous and hyper and exhausted and who knows if we'll even be able to sleep tonight??

My hope and prayer is that Meranda has as easy a labor as possible. Bless her heart. She's still a baby herself.

We had to run to Kohl's tonight to exchange the birthstone ring on the necklace that we got Meranda. Seeing as how Ryleigh didn't come in June like she was supposed to, we had to scramble to find a July ring. We had to do some calling around but we found a store that had one left! We begged them to hold it for us!

I'm praying that all goes as planned. The 12-24 hours after the birth will be very stressful for us. The law says that Meranda cannot sign the adoption papers for the first 12-24 hours after the baby is born. A social worker will talk to Meranda and make sure she does want to give the baby up, etc. Pray for us!!!!

Hopefully the next time I blog, I'll be a mama!

Nope

No news. Meranda had a good night last night. Unless we get word to stay close to home, we're going to try to go to church in the morning. Thanks to sickness and work, we haven't been able to go to church the past 2 Sundays.

Waiting

Meranda and Amy walked over a mile today and Meranda spent the rest of the day sleeping/resting.

Emotions

Phew...we all are really running the gamut of emotions around here.
Yesterday, I was so exhausted, short-tempered, short on patience, very anxious, grouchy, you name it.
The fact that we've waited over a decade for a baby and now we're down to the wire...but it isn't over until we have a signature on a piece of paper...it's very overwhelming. Unless someone has adopted, there is no true understanding. Just having a baby is stressful enough, but everything else is overwhelming as well.
But, we're confident that everything is going to go as planned. We like to say that God hasn't brought us this far to drop us now!
I went to bed last night at 7:30. I thought it best for everyone if I just go to my room and go to bed. LOL.
I feel so much better today, but now my step-MIL is having a bad day. She's weepy and stressed and you name it. They've been here 7 or 8 days now, waiting on this baby.
I think some of my family might come up this weekend. I really hope so!

No baby yet...but soon!

We went to the DR this morning. I got to put my hand on Meranda's belly and feel the baby's foot and her little butt! Which I'm going to whip if she doesn't come out soon!!
We listened to the heartbeat and it was 138 beats per minute.
The DR checked Meranda, stripped the membranes and felt the baby's head! He came out of the exam so excited. He said within 2 days we'll have a baby!
BUT, just in case, he's scheduled an induction for Tuesday at 6:30 AM. So, whether she does into labor on her own or not, we'll have a baby within the next four days.
Our DR never lets a woman go more than one week past her due date!!
When he told her about the induction on Tuesday, Meranda said, "This Tuesday?" Yes, he said. "The Tuesday after THIS weekend?" Yes, he said. She is scared to death!!!!!
She and Amy cried all the way to the restaurant after the appointment and so did my MIL. None of us could eat much, except for Meranda. She had a steak, 3 eggs, 3 pancakes and who knows what else...two large milks...at 10:30 AM!!! lol
SO...we're gonna have a baby soon!
Meranda told me that the only thing her mom is excited about is that "Fred & Michelle are getting the baby" and that she (Kim) loves us very much. Wow! =)
Keep praying!

Maybe

Amy said she isn't promising anything, but she thinks the baby might come today.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Girls

Amy, birth mom, step-MIL

June 21, 2008

Wednesday AM

It's almost 6:30 AM on Wednesday. No baby yet. We've decided baby Ryleigh is grounded because she's taking so long! lol

I got a text message from Amy yesterday about 5 PM that said Meranda had had terrible back pains all night on Monday night and was sleeping on Tuesday during the day.

Surely it won't be long?!

When I got that text we were leaving Wal-mart and going to Pizza Hut.
I was so anxious/hyper/nervous. I told my step-MIL I didn't know if I was going to cry or throw up!! I did manage to eat some though. I came home very hyper but conked out before 9 PM and slept until 5:45 AM. I was having a dream that Fred was telling me my phone was ringing and I woke up and checked my phone. Alas, it was not ringing. No baby yet.

Monday night

It's 10:30 PM and we've loaded up our suitcase and all the goodies we're taking to the hospital.

I SO hope the call comes yet tonight!!

We spent lots of time with Meranda and Amy on Saturday evening. We had so much fun!!

We talked very openly about how much contact Meranda might want with us, etc. We ALL sat in Subway and cried! It was so wonderful!

Meranda asked me if I'd like to cut the cord!!! I do and I will but I'm really nervous about it!

Monday

Last night Meranda was feeling lots of pressure! It won't be long!!!
I HOPE!!!!!! LOL

Afterwards

Anonymous said...
I wondered if you are going to stay in contact with the birth mother after the baby is born and if so to what capacity?

The answer to this question is yes, we will stay in touch with the birth mom. To what extent, only time will tell.

Our birth mom is a precious young girl that we have grown to love and we can't imagine not being in contact with her.

At this point, the plans are to send her photos and updates on the baby. She is going to make a baby book herself, with all the info I send her. Someone who didn't know she was adopting out the baby got her this book and she's decided she'd like to work on it and then when baby is older, we could give it to her and we agreed.

We'll send updates several times this first year of the baby's life. After that, maybe 2 or 3 times a year.

But, who knows? That may all change. And, our birth mom knows that at any time, she can tell us that it's too painful to get the updates and not to send them and we have reassured her that it doesn't mean she doesn't love the baby, etc.

As far as visiting often with the birth mom, we probably won't do that. We want her to get on with her life, etc.

Gifts for birth mom

One of the gifts we got our birth mom is this gold chain with a tiny baby's ring. It has Ryleigh's birthstone. It is SO precious!

This picture isn't great, but this is a beautiful pale pink bear. Ryleigh has one-it's her first bear. We got an identical one for our birth mom. The card says that we want her to have this link with the baby...something to hold and love. And, that maybe someday, when she begins to find healing, she can put the bear away if she wants to and that it's OK to do so. Then, maybe someday, years down the road if Ryleigh and her birth mom meet, they'll have matching bears!!

We have tons more gifts, but I really love these two. =)

Pains

Our birth mom had pains off and on two days ago. They weren't regular, so they didn't worry too much. She is getting scared though of the apin of childbirth. Bless her heart. She hasn't decided on any pain relief for the delivery yet.

A friend told Fred that Thursday there will be a full moon, so M. will probably have the baby then. Everyone I've mentioned this to know all about baby's coming on a full-moon night.

Just in case, I'm loadin' my stuff up in the car! lol

Be sure to take my poll on the right about whether or not you believe there's truth to the full-moon theory regarding births. =)

Amazing Miracles

So many awesome things have happened already in this adoption journey...things that truly remind us God is in control!

First of all, a few weeks ago, we were at the Cracker Barrel in Anderson and ran into the folks that we bought our house from...Roger and Annetta Neal. We told them about the adoption because they've prayed and prayed for us to be able to have children and they grieved along with us when I had the surgery last year that ended our chances of conceiving.

Anyway, we told them about our birth mother's family and Annetta started to cry! She is related to that family! Our birth mom's great-Grandpa Earl Reno is Annetta's uncle! She shared lots of wonderful things with us about the family. She cried and said how thankful she was God is answering our prayers for a baby and that our news made her day!

Roger and Annetta pastor a church, but many years ago, they went to the same church as our birth mom's Great-Grandpa & Grandma Reno. "Grandma Reno" passed away a few years back, but she would have been Ryleigh's great-great Grandma. Grandpa Reno is still living and lives in Muncie.

Today, I got a letter in the mail from Annetta. It says,

"Michelle, I thought I'd send you some pictures to be kept for your baby and also give you a little family information on the Reno side. This will be interesting for her when she gets older. By the way, we had lunch with Uncle Earl a few days ago and we told him we knew you because you had bought our house. We let him know his great-great grandchild was going to a good, stable Apostolic Christian home. He was thrilled. He will be 90 on July 5th. His address is...if you should ever need it. The baby's great-great grandmother was Francis Reno. She taught children's Sunday School for close to 50 years! A wonderful woman. Will start with this picture! More to come!" Annetta included a photo of Ryleigh's late great-great grandmother teaching Sunday School. I'm guessing the photo was taken in the late 1960's-early 70's!!

What a precious, precious gift!!

Then, last month when our birth mom M., her mom K. and I met at my attorney's office, my attorney suggested our birth mom get started on grief counseling right away. She recommended "Pat S." I guess Pat is the best of the best and has experience in counseling birth mom who place their babies for adoption. Well, when our birth mom's mom called Pat, she said she couldn't take M. because she isn't set up to take Medicaid at this point. A few days went by and K. must have asked around because she heard some awesome things about Pat and wanted to know if we could make any calls or pull any strings. Pat worked in the same building as Fred's pharmacy. So, Fred went back to talk to Pat and learned her office had moved. He called her and they talked for quite a while. Pat said she's trying to get approved to accept Medicaid at this new facility and that if she took M. now as a patient she might be in violation of the Medicaid laws, etc. Then, Fred asked about us paying for M.'s counseling. We weren't sure how we would pay for it (probably $600+/- a month) but we want M. to have the grief counseling. Pat told Fred that she doesn't recommend us paying for it because if M. should change her mind about the adoption during counseling, we might blame Pat, etc. So....I contacted our attorney for help. What to do, what to do? We looked for another counselor. Our attorney contacted Pat and they talked some concerns out. Pat said she'd talk to her practice's attorney and see what they could do. Pat understood the urgency and I'm sure the fact that she knows Fred helped too.
The attorney called me and said she had good news...Pat had spoken with her attorney and I think some colleagues and she agreed to take M. as a patient at NO CHARGE. They can't bill Medicaid because she isn't set up for it, but because M. has Medicaid, Pat didn't think it was fair to charge us and have us pay for the counseling, so she's "just going to be it for free". (!!!!!!!) She mentioned to our attorney that she would like a "working relationship" where our attorney referred people to her and they'd just start with M. !!! Praise the Lord!! How amazing is that?!
M. had her first visit with Pat yesterday and said she really, really liked her!

Can't Sleep

It's almost 2 AM and I can't sleep! I keep checking my cell phone to see if the volume is up or if it still has power, etc. lol I'm gonna make myself crazy! ;-)

The due date is in 8 days, but I keep hoping she'll go soon. We almost have our bag packed, as well as outfits for Ryleigh. We couldn't decide on an outfit, so we have several, plus 6 pairs of shoes to choose from! lol

If the baby hasn't come by then, our next DR's appointment is Friday, June 20. Hope I make it 'til then! =)

DR's appointment

We all went to the DR today, including Fred! He got to hear Ryleigh's heartbeat "in person" for the first time today! Ryleigh moved around a lot so it was hard to find the heartbeat and keep it, but it was awesome, as always!

Meranda was 38 weeks on Tuesday, so the DR checked her for dilation today. She hasn't started dilating yet. Wahhh!!!! lol

Up's & Down's of Adoption

It's amazing how one sentence from someone can

devastate or encourage you.

I was devastated yesterday. I talked to our birth mom's mom and she said that the closer the arrival of the baby comes, the harder she is finding it to let the baby go. I must also add that she then said, "But I know that in the long run, it's best". All I really heard was the first part and it brewed in my mind until it boiled over. I cried all afternoon yesterday, just "knowing" that this grandmother-to-be is changing her mind. I sat here at my desk with tears poouring down my face, saying Please God Please God over and over.

I emailed our attorney, who has adopted 4 children and has also experienced failed adoptions. Here's our conversations:

I feel really overwhelmed today. When I talked to Kim, Meranda's mom, last night, she said she might see if Pat can counsel her too because the closer the baby's arrival comes, the harder it is, but that she knows in the long run, "it's for the best". Does that mean she is rethinking giving the baby up?

We have no experience with this at all and it's very scary.


Not necessarily. Giving up a baby for adoption IS very hard on birth mothers and grandmothers alike. It is good that they are being honest about their feelings, actually. I would not be alarmed. Cautiously guarded perhaps. As much as you can guard your heart, try to do so, because it is never a sure thing until the consent is signed (irrevocable once signed), and then hopefully affirmed in Court (we will arrange to do this by telephone for Meranda's convenience - it totally closes off the window of a birth mom seeking any action for any reason related to the adoption in Court). However, her telling you this doesn't seem like a red flag to me. I hope this helps.

Rebecca S. Bruce
Attorney at Law


I then told her I was trying to hang in there and was also very overwhelmed with how sick Fred's dad is, etc.

I understand the emotions you are feeling right now! It is very hard right now. Reality is dawning on all fronts and it's just hard. You want to be so happy but you know there's a chance things could go awry. Hang in there. It's okay to guardedly cautious AND optimistic. If it works out how it seems it will, the hard feelings you are having right now, you'll hardly remember them. (:

Rebecca S. Bruce
Attorney at Law

We are trying to hang in there. One day at a time.

Almost time

Thursday's DR's appointment went well. Meranda had gained less than a pound and had great B/P. The baby has dropped and Meranda can breathe so much better now. She is extra tired and is sleeping a lot now. It won't be long now! Meranda is almost 38 weeks along now.

We started packing our suitcase tonight. Hopefully we'll only be at the hospital one night. We have the infant seat installed in the SUV and I've almost got Meranda's gift package finished up.

We are SO excited!!!!

She wants to meet Fred's parents, so we will try to do that this coming week.

We still have NO clue what outfit we want to bring Ryleigh home in. I think I'll take 2 or 3 to pick from. Meranda wore a 0-3 months when she was born, so I'll take an outfit that size plus a newborn outfit too.

Meranda's mom gave birth to both her kids in 4 hours or so! Our DR told Meranda the other day not to waste any time calling him if her water so much as trickles!

Birth mom & me

Meranda on the left, with me, May 29

Baby Shower

My step-MIL and a special friend, Patti, had a baby shower for us this past Saturday. Here's the proof...lol...

My sister Karen playing the "Guess what kind of baby food is in the jar" game. You could sniff it or taste it. After tasting it, she told me I could not feed this to Ryleigh. lol It turned out to be broccoli and chicken.

Probably not something Ryleigh will wear to town or church...LOL

Handmade blanket by my niece Hannah Banana =) Ryleigh's initials are stitched onto the wings of a butterfly on the quilt!

Lots of goodies!

My prayer-warrior friend, Christeena Slattery, age 92

My sister Karen and me

Mom and me

We got so many beautiful gifts! Lots of handmade afghans, etc. that are priceless!

Can't sleep

It's 1:38 AM and I can't sleep because today we go back to the DR to see how birth mom is getting along! I'm so excited!

Today I worked on getting some gifts for her. I got one of those large aluminum containers with handles on it (like you might use at the beach) in a bright teal blue and I'm buying goodies to put in it. I got her a huge fluffy beach towel, a pedicure set, some other girly-pampering things, some cat notecards as she is in love with cats, plus some other fun, silly things. Now I'm trying to decide on the big things. I know I will get a couple of gift cards for her...one for some post-baby clothes, another to get her nails done (as that is something she really wants) and I'm thinking of getting her a ring with Ryleigh's birthstone in it. I'm going to look at rings tomorrow. Well, later today. =)

Updates

I'm a bit behind on the updates, but things have been hectic around here!

Birth mom Meranda, Amy and I went to the DR last Thursday. We'll be going every week now until the birth.
Meranda is doing great!! The baby is dropping now. Here's a pic of Meranda's belly last Thursday, May 29:

After the appointment, we went out for breakfast to celebrate the end of the school year for Meranda. She's no longer a high school freshman! =)

On Memorial Day, we traded in my Grand Prix GT for a 2008 Trailblazer, so that Ryleigh's stroller would fit! It didn't fit in my car. Our new Trailblazer has been dubbed "Ryleigh's Ride."

I have lots more updates that I'll add soon!