Fred

It's no secret that Fred was not on board for this adoption in the beginning. He's always feared adoption, thinking a birth parent could come back in 2 months or 2 years or whatever and say they'd changed their mind, etc.

He worried about the financial aspect.

He worried about how we'd adjust...having been just the two of us for 15 years and being set in our ways and our schedule and so on. Fred & I are very close. We've been through some heart-wrenching times together. Infertility literally knocks you to your knees.

He worried about being able to love someone else's child as his own.

This husband of mine has amazed me. He continues to amaze me on a daily basis.

He held her for the longest time right after the delivery. He rocked her in the nursery. He gave her her first bottle. All the while saying softly, "Daddy's here. Daddy's here. It's OK, Ryleigh, Daddy's here."

When we got in our own hospital room, he could barely stand to put her down. He fed her. He puts his mouth to her ear and whispers over and over and over "dad-dy...dad-dy....dad-dy." The other day he was doing that and she said "Coo" and he said, "DID YOU HEAR THAT??? SHE SAID DADDY IN HER OWN LANGUAGE!!!!" He was hysterically happy and I had to laugh.

He wants to hold her constantly. He rocks her. He burps her. He prays over her. He tells her how beautiful she is. He makes her bottles. Everyday, I wake up to a rack full of clean baby bottles that he's washed during the night or the early morning hours.

He reads everything he can get his hands on about babies. He sings to her. He marvels at her eyelashes and eyebrows.

At 3 AM this morning, when he stirred from sleep and realized I hadn't been to sleep yet, he tucked me in and took Ryleigh into the living room and fed her. He came back to the bedroom, put her in her swing, climbed into bed and rubbed my shoulders and my back and my legs and feet. This morning he told me he'd felt so sorry for me because I hadn't gotten any sleep yet. He took care of Ryleigh in the living room until 10:20 AM so that I could sleep.

He hugged me in the kitchen the other day and said, "You know how I was worried that a baby would come between us? Well, it's done just the opposite. We are so much closer together."

He still takes my breath away.

Being a first time dad at age 38 is such a blessing for our tiny girl. Fred is older, wiser, not as self-absorbed as a young dad usually is and very, very patient.

Ryleigh and I are very blessed. =)